1 00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:05,208 [Theme - Jack Jones, "the love boat theme"] 2 00:00:11,177 --> 00:00:18,557 Theme song: Love, exciting and new. 3 00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:20,313 Come aboard. 4 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:27,033 We're expecting you. 5 00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:35,410 And love, life's sweetest reward. 6 00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:43,843 Let it flow, it floats back to you. 7 00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:51,758 The love boat soon will be making another run. 8 00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:58,313 The love boat promises something for everyone. 9 00:00:58,391 --> 00:01:03,271 Set a course for adventure, your mind on a new romance. 10 00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:15,664 And love won't hurt anymore. 11 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:21,462 It's an open smile on a friendly shore. 12 00:01:24,375 --> 00:01:24,415 It's love. 13 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,261 Welcome aboard, it's love. 14 00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:42,562 [Music playing] 15 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:02,912 Gopher, I want you to check the chef's seafood requisition. 16 00:02:02,997 --> 00:02:04,207 So we're over stocked Maine's going to be 17 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:05,330 ordering lobsters from us. 18 00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:06,876 Well, if it's any help, sir, I know a place where 19 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,880 we can a great buy on bibs. 20 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:10,843 Don't help me. 21 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:11,712 Nice try though, goph. 22 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:12,508 And Julie? 23 00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:13,720 Yes, sir? 24 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,260 Please try to schedule some recent films. 25 00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:17,854 I'm almost positive Elizabeth Taylor made a few movies 26 00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:20,889 after "national velvet." 27 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:21,984 If you'd like a list of them, I'll give Liz a call. 28 00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:22,888 I have her home phone number. 29 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,556 Well, before you call, Adam, please 30 00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:26,435 check the medical supplies. 31 00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:29,071 Make sure the back orders are noted. 32 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:33,899 You've been very lax in your inventories. 33 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,407 Ha, ha, ha, ha. 34 00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:39,989 Captain: Oh, and Isaac? 35 00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:41,236 Sir? 36 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,197 The line wanted me to extend its congratulations to you. 37 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:47,208 On our last cruise, 38 bar glasses were broken. 38 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,172 That's a three-day cruise record. 39 00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:50,301 We're writing the guinness people to see 40 00:02:50,378 --> 00:02:51,918 if it's a new world record. 41 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,165 I'm sorry, sir. 42 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:54,006 I'll do better. 43 00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:57,507 - Any questions. - No. 44 00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:58,684 No. 45 00:02:58,761 --> 00:03:00,931 And dad, everybody has something to do. 46 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,104 How about a job for me? 47 00:03:02,181 --> 00:03:04,891 Vicki, you already have the hardest job of all. 48 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,896 Growing up is always a difficult chore. 49 00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,858 Dad, that's not the kind of chore I want. 50 00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:11,478 Dad, I want to work. 51 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,396 I want to feel useful, instead of feeling 52 00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:15,284 like I'm in everybody's way. 53 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:18,661 Darling, you're not in anybody's way, honestly, honey. 54 00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:22,117 All right, dismissed. 55 00:03:22,201 --> 00:03:22,831 Thank you, sir. 56 00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:25,791 Sir, thank you. 57 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,292 Oh, I'm sorry. 58 00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:28,543 You see, I'm even in your way. 59 00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:40,929 [Theme - dionne Warwick, "love boat"] 60 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:45,635 Oh, Isaac, look here they come again, the merry widows. 61 00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:46,805 I'm so excited. 62 00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:51,693 [Interposing voices] 63 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:52,443 Back for their annual bridge marathon. 64 00:03:52,523 --> 00:03:54,363 I know. 65 00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:55,992 Once those ladies start playing bridge, 66 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,659 even a tidal can't get their attention. 67 00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,158 - Hello. - Hello. 68 00:04:00,239 --> 00:04:01,119 Welcome aboard. 69 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,829 It's nice to have you all back again. 70 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:03,869 Good to have you back, yes. 71 00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,662 Where's Mrs. Brody? 72 00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,535 Oh, we lost her. 73 00:04:08,623 --> 00:04:11,043 Oh, no, Mrs. Brody died. 74 00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:11,995 No. 75 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,415 We lost her to backgammon. 76 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:16,843 But we have new fourth, Mrs. Simpson, who is just as 77 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,303 crazy, about bridge as we are. 78 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:20,434 Well, hello, welcome aboard. 79 00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,010 Mrs. Simpson, it's nice to have you with us. 80 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,465 Thank you, it's not-- 81 00:04:23,554 --> 00:04:24,684 Shirley, cut the small talk. 82 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:25,854 We're here to play bridge. 83 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,232 Hi, I'm Dr. Leonhardt. 84 00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:29,348 I just checked in a few minutes ago, 85 00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:31,185 and I just wondered if you could show me to my cabin? 86 00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:32,650 Julie: Oh, of course, Dr. Leonhardt. 87 00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:34,320 Just go straight through the lobby to the elevator. 88 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,359 Julie, these ladies are headed in the same direction. 89 00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,941 Maybe they might show the doctor to his cabin? 90 00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:38,697 Good idea. 91 00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:39,528 Uh-- ladies, you don't mind. 92 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,362 I see you have your usual cabins. 93 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:42,617 - Yes. - That's right. 94 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:46,409 Well, I'd be delighted to have such charming escorts. 95 00:04:46,494 --> 00:04:48,334 Listen, we've got to get our bridge started. 96 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:51,333 Yeah, all right. 97 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:53,706 Did I hear you mention bridge? 98 00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,673 Yes, that's all we came for. 99 00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,086 Oh, I've always wanted to learn that game. 100 00:05:00,174 --> 00:05:02,394 I just never had the time. 101 00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:04,178 Well, you doctors are kept very busy. 102 00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,762 What branch of medicine are you in? 103 00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:07,558 Building Bridges. 104 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,600 Oh. 105 00:05:08,683 --> 00:05:09,643 I'm a dentist. 106 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:10,886 Oh. 107 00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:12,557 And it's my professional opinion, that you 108 00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:15,515 have a very lovely smile. 109 00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:17,276 Oh. 110 00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:20,318 Shirley, you came here to play bridge, 111 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:21,613 not to get fitted for one. 112 00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:35,128 [Interposing voices] 113 00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:37,592 Oh, oh. 114 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:39,090 Doc, doc, doc, look. 115 00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:41,132 Oh. 116 00:05:41,215 --> 00:05:43,335 Boy, if she isn't a slice of heaven, 117 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:45,386 my eyes go back into the shop for repairs. 118 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:48,140 Yeah, then you better call for an appointment. 119 00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:49,062 She's sailed with us before. 120 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,430 I spent an evening with her. 121 00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:54,056 It was like trying to snuggle up to an iceberg. 122 00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,265 You know, doc, let's face it, there 123 00:05:55,354 --> 00:05:58,114 might be one or two women out there that won't tumble 124 00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,361 with your infamous charms. 125 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:02,702 Gopher, at medical school, I majored in erogenous zones. 126 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,279 If I can't hit the spot, they're clinically dead. 127 00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:08,164 Well, well, what a delightful surprise-- 128 00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:09,792 Linda Trent. 129 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,039 So nice to see you again. 130 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,750 I'd like to introduce you to gopher Smith. 131 00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:14,790 Linda Trent. 132 00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:18,134 Hi, I can't help noticing you're in aloha 152. 133 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:21,171 Aloha 152. 134 00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:23,835 Well, I'll have to remember that. 135 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,545 Oh, don't bother. 136 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,595 I've already had my flu shots. 137 00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:32,229 I guess, some guys just can't take iceberg for an answer. 138 00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:38,443 Hello. 139 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:41,153 Goodbye. 140 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,864 Well, a real fun girl. 141 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,864 Oh, I wouldn't take it personally. 142 00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:46,566 The lady might have a south-sea island body, 143 00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:49,986 but she definitely has a north-pole personality. 144 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:50,696 I'll have her melting by the end of the cruise. 145 00:06:50,785 --> 00:06:53,035 Hey. 146 00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:56,211 He's going to have frost bite by the time we hit acapulco. 147 00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:56,920 I got $10 smackeroos says he's a winner. 148 00:06:56,999 --> 00:06:57,829 - Oh? - Mm. 149 00:06:57,917 --> 00:07:00,957 Make it $25. 150 00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:01,495 Ok. 151 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:02,507 You're on, sucker. 152 00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:10,184 [Boat horn] 153 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:14,063 [Theme - dionne Warwick, "love boat"] 154 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:41,670 Two hearts. 155 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,178 Ethel, it only took god six days to create the world. 156 00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:50,598 He didn't have this rotten hand. 157 00:07:50,678 --> 00:07:52,848 Did you say two hearts? 158 00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:53,390 How could you remember? 159 00:07:53,472 --> 00:07:55,142 It was so long ago. 160 00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,643 I think I'll pass. 161 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,148 Doris: Shirley, two-- 162 00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,193 Ethel: Signals? 163 00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,356 Oh, I'll never play with her if she's signaling. 164 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:08,905 Shirley: I wasn't signaling. 165 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:11,068 I was waving to Dr. Leonhardt. 166 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:16,327 Doris: Sure, and I wear petite in pantyhose. 167 00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:17,792 Hello, ladies. 168 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,292 Hello, doctor leonhardt. 169 00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:21,583 Goodbye, doctor leonhardt. 170 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:31,466 Two no trump. 171 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:37,846 Hi. 172 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,484 You're blocking the sun. 173 00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:42,266 How's this? 174 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:42,725 A little farther. 175 00:08:46,108 --> 00:08:46,438 Ok? 176 00:08:46,525 --> 00:08:48,985 Farther. 177 00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,490 Is this all right. 178 00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,242 Nope, I can still hear you. 179 00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,791 Watch how an expert handles this. 180 00:09:00,539 --> 00:09:02,579 Excuse me, is this chair occupied? 181 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,417 I really don't know. 182 00:09:04,502 --> 00:09:06,672 That's the oldest line in the world. 183 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,220 You're doing great. 184 00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:14,181 Well, actually, the only reason I ask 185 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:16,812 is because I usually like to keep one empty chair between me 186 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,139 and another passenger. 187 00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,894 That way, I don't get involved in any casual, inane shipboard 188 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,097 conversations. 189 00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:23,226 You know, that's exactly how-- 190 00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:24,612 Barry: See, you're doing it already. 191 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,729 I better make that two chairs. 192 00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:38,827 Hi, Isaac. 193 00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:40,041 Hi, doc. 194 00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:43,461 Got anything back there for a headache? 195 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:44,631 You're the doctor. 196 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,169 Well, I don't mean to get rid of a headache. 197 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,752 I mean to get one. 198 00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:51,047 Hey, guys, you want me to help you serve some drinks? 199 00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,092 Oh, come on, Vicki, now you know minors are 200 00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:55,715 not allowed to serve liquor. 201 00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:56,513 Right. 202 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:02,975 Hi, sweetheart. 203 00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,730 Hi, dad. 204 00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:09,819 I wonder what's bothering Vicki? 205 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:10,690 She seems a little glum. 206 00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,566 Oh, she's just growing up now. 207 00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:15,203 She just wants to feel useful. 208 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:15,871 Why don't you give her a job? 209 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,618 A job? 210 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,080 Like what? 211 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,830 Like anything. 212 00:10:20,911 --> 00:10:22,711 Hey, why don't you make her your secretary? 213 00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:23,908 Oh, come on. 214 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:26,038 Adam, I need a secretary, like you need dating lessons. 215 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:28,245 Well, then, maybe you need a secretary. 216 00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:28,706 I've been striking out a lot lately. 217 00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:38,506 How you doing? 218 00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:39,306 Fine. 219 00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:44,228 Well, guess i'd better be going. 220 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:48,230 I have a lot of paperwork to do, letters to write. 221 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,654 Want me to help you? 222 00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:51,693 Hey, that's not a bad idea. 223 00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,736 Would you? 224 00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:54,569 What? 225 00:10:54,653 --> 00:10:55,913 Would you help me? 226 00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:56,948 Well, sure. 227 00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,491 It would certainly make things a lot easier. 228 00:10:58,574 --> 00:10:59,334 You know what? 229 00:10:59,408 --> 00:10:59,988 What? 230 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,286 You're my new secretary. 231 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:04,909 Oh, daddy, thank you. 232 00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,247 Come on, secretary. 233 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:10,922 [Music playing] 234 00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:15,932 And I'll have six of these. 235 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:17,428 Hmm, let's see? 236 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,930 One, two, three, four, five, six of these. 237 00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:24,393 And chewy Taffy. 238 00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:26,845 Oh, I'd pass on the Taffy, if I were you. 239 00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,556 Your fillings will never forgive you. 240 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,266 Am I going to get billed for this, doctor leonhardt? 241 00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,146 Oh, call me frank. 242 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,993 And I wouldn't dream of it-- free professional opinion. 243 00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:35,279 Aha. 244 00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:37,071 Ok. 245 00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:41,084 What is your professional opinion on peanuts? 246 00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:42,618 They go very good with martinis. 247 00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:43,451 Aha. 248 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,616 Two of those. 249 00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:46,463 For that, you get billed. 250 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,869 That'll do it. 251 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,497 Actually, see, this stuff is all for the other ladies. 252 00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:52,464 Oh, sure, sure. 253 00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:55,085 Well, you see, the new girl has to run all the errands. 254 00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:56,222 - I see. - Yeah. 255 00:11:56,298 --> 00:11:56,968 Thank you. 256 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:03,508 Your wife must appreciate having a dentist around the house. 257 00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:04,467 Oh, I don't think so. 258 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,437 She's married to a lawyer. 259 00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,058 We've been divorced for a long time. 260 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,016 And you've never remarried? 261 00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:12,395 Huh-uh. 262 00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:13,571 Well, a dentist must meet a lot of attractive women. 263 00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:15,989 Yeah, but it's pretty hard to establish 264 00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:19,818 a relationship with somebody you see only twice a year. 265 00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:20,985 How about you, Shirley? 266 00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:21,993 You happily married? 267 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,244 I used to be. 268 00:12:23,325 --> 00:12:24,655 My husband passed away. 269 00:12:24,743 --> 00:12:25,373 Oh, I'm sorry. 270 00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,163 No, no, no, that's ok. 271 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,366 It hurt for a long time. 272 00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:30,416 But, well now, i'm getting back on my feet, 273 00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:31,249 traveling, seeing friends. 274 00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:33,043 Playing bridge. 275 00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:34,247 Brid-- bridge! 276 00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:35,666 Oh, the ladies will kill me. 277 00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:36,674 Yeah, wait a minute. 278 00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:37,915 How about a bridge lesson over some drinks? 279 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:38,967 No, no, i-- 280 00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:40,089 I'm sure you can get away for a few hours. 281 00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:41,296 Not even for good behavior. 282 00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:42,255 I'm sorry. 283 00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:44,314 Yeah, but-- oh. 284 00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,108 [Knocking] 285 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,073 Uh-- come in. 286 00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,283 Hi, Vicki. 287 00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:02,572 Oh, hey, how's your new job going? 288 00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:03,406 Oh, fine, thanks, goph. 289 00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:06,411 I mean, Mr. Smith. 290 00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:07,794 Oh, gosh, looks like you're working hard. 291 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,830 You almost filled this basket. 292 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:10,714 Where's your dad? 293 00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:11,669 I need to talk to him. 294 00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:14,879 Well, do you have an appointment? 295 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:15,540 No, I don't. 296 00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:18,708 Well, how's Friday, 3:00? 297 00:13:18,797 --> 00:13:20,717 Gopher, I'm glad you're here. 298 00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:21,969 I wanted to see you. 299 00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,221 I had a little trouble getting past your secretary, sir. 300 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:26,392 Well, every ship's captain needs an efficient girl Friday. 301 00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:29,812 [Phone ringing] 302 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,982 Office of the captain, Victoria stubing speaking. 303 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:33,732 Oh, fine. 304 00:13:33,812 --> 00:13:35,112 How are you? 305 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:38,439 Who is it? 306 00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:39,856 Oh, no, I'm afraid not. 307 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:40,744 He's in a conference at the moment. 308 00:13:40,819 --> 00:13:42,609 Would you like to leave your number 309 00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:44,986 and I'll have him get back to you? 310 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,544 One moment, please? 311 00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:49,198 Are you in for our cruise director, Ms. McCoy. 312 00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:50,746 It's Julie. 313 00:13:50,829 --> 00:13:51,499 Well, I don't know. 314 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:51,910 She didn't give her first name. 315 00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:08,005 Oh, get my $25 bucks ready. 316 00:14:08,097 --> 00:14:11,227 I see our would-be Casanova is all by his lonesome. 317 00:14:11,308 --> 00:14:13,268 Oh, not for long. 318 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:16,112 Oh, I get it. 319 00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:19,648 He's gotten our miss Julie here to seat Linda at his table. 320 00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:21,243 I haven't pulled that tired old trick since high school. 321 00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:22,988 Well-- 322 00:14:23,070 --> 00:14:23,780 hi, Julie. 323 00:14:23,862 --> 00:14:24,782 Oh, hello. 324 00:14:24,863 --> 00:14:27,453 Have you got a nice, quiet table for me? 325 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,873 You know, I thought you might enjoy 326 00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:32,201 sitting with that gentleman over there, Barry styles. 327 00:14:32,288 --> 00:14:34,868 He seems very nice and besides, he requested 328 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:35,287 you for his dinner party. 329 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,504 Oh, did he? 330 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:39,626 Is something else available? 331 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:42,302 I'm really not interested in sitting with anybody, 332 00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,011 and certainly not him. 333 00:14:44,091 --> 00:14:48,431 Oh, gee, well, everything else is either taken or reserved. 334 00:14:48,512 --> 00:14:51,102 I'm afraid it's the only seat left in the room. 335 00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:54,561 Well, I'll work it out. 336 00:14:54,643 --> 00:14:55,353 Julie: Ok. 337 00:15:02,192 --> 00:15:05,152 Hang on to your epaulets, and watch miss rejection put 338 00:15:05,237 --> 00:15:07,947 his ego into intensive care. 339 00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:08,322 I still have faith in him. 340 00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:10,077 Yeah? 341 00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:10,739 Yeah. 342 00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:11,696 Enough to double our bet? 343 00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:12,405 Huh? 344 00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:13,204 Uh-huh? - Yeah. 345 00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:14,997 Ok. 346 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,790 $50. 347 00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:20,964 Gopher, you just weren't meant to be a rich man. 348 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:24,375 For a man so anxious to avoid casual, inane conversation, 349 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:25,625 you certainly went to a lot of trouble 350 00:15:25,716 --> 00:15:27,676 to maneuver me to this table. 351 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:28,470 Well, you-- 352 00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:28,932 and don't deny it. 353 00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:29,511 Julie told me. 354 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,255 Oh, I'm not denying it. 355 00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:34,847 You see I realized you want to be alone as much as I do. 356 00:15:34,933 --> 00:15:36,603 Since I'm such a fast eater, I'm done. 357 00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:38,805 The table is yours. 358 00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:48,355 He's doing as well with her as you did. 359 00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:49,867 Now look, I may have struck out with the lady, 360 00:15:49,948 --> 00:15:53,198 but he didn't even get up to bat. 361 00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:54,655 Uh-- how's it going old man? 362 00:15:54,745 --> 00:15:55,495 Right on schedule. 363 00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:04,594 One diamond. 364 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:07,552 And take away the beans. 365 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:11,053 I double, and bring back the beans. 366 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:12,966 One heart, and bring me a baked potato instead of beans. 367 00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:16,265 I pass on the hand, and I pass on the beans. 368 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:18,810 Two hearts. 369 00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:22,364 Pass, and pass the salt, please? 370 00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:24,269 Thank you. 371 00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:25,228 Four of heats. 372 00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,897 You're welcome. 373 00:16:27,986 --> 00:16:29,736 Doris: Pass. 374 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,572 Ethel: Pass. 375 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,027 Shirley? 376 00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:33,367 I'd love to. 377 00:16:33,450 --> 00:16:34,240 Huh? 378 00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:36,116 Huh? 379 00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:39,673 Oh, I'd love to play bridge. 380 00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:42,748 Now's your chance, honey. 381 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,455 Throw a card, uh-- 382 00:16:44,545 --> 00:16:45,245 just one. 383 00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:53,389 What happened? 384 00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,140 This isn't a gym. 385 00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:55,471 Good evening, captain. 386 00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:57,266 Vicki, or miss stubing. 387 00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:58,229 I've been worried about you. 388 00:16:58,308 --> 00:16:58,768 You're really late for dinner. 389 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,601 You must be starved. 390 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,096 Well, not really. 391 00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:04,357 I was so busy with all this paperwork, I lost my appetite. 392 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:05,980 Oh, but do you think you could sign 393 00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:08,106 these so that I could get them in the mail in the next port. 394 00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:09,113 Well, can't we do this tomorrow morning? 395 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,614 You're making me feel like Simon lagree. 396 00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:12,777 Who? 397 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,485 Adam: Simon lagree, he was the Darth Vader 398 00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:17,615 when your dad was your age. 399 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,873 Are you sure you don't want just a little something to eat? 400 00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:22,036 Captain, I'm fine. 401 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:22,964 I ordered a hamburger and I'll eat it in the office. 402 00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:25,341 But there's still lots to catch up on. 403 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:34,177 Something wrong? 404 00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:35,801 Broccoli looks a bit overcooked. 405 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,888 I'll send a memo to the chef. 406 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:50,648 [Music playing] 407 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:12,800 Hi. 408 00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:14,513 The girls are waiting. 409 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:15,513 I don't have much time. 410 00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:16,974 Oh, then we'll just have to dance fast. 411 00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:19,684 Come on. 412 00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:23,185 Here you go, two champagne cocktails. 413 00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:25,398 Now, are you going to drink both of these at the same time? 414 00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:26,359 No. 415 00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:29,018 One is for Linda. 416 00:18:29,107 --> 00:18:33,277 Linda, you've been on that diet much too long. 417 00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:34,032 Don't worry. 418 00:18:34,112 --> 00:18:36,412 She'll be here. 419 00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:37,700 Ok. 420 00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,373 Oh, excuse me. 421 00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:40,541 Uh-- I'm sorry, I forgot you're uh-- uh-- 422 00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:41,499 - Linda. - Linda. 423 00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:43,208 Linda. 424 00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,788 Would you mind helping me out? 425 00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:48,714 You see, I'm celebrating a very special anniversary tonight. 426 00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:49,464 Mm? 427 00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:50,705 Mm-hmm. 428 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,166 This marks one full year of my being celibate. 429 00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:54,127 Celibate? 430 00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:57,716 You mean, you-- oh. 431 00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,563 What is this? 432 00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,178 Some sort of put on? 433 00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:01,845 No, I'm celibate. 434 00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:04,812 No sex for an entire year. 435 00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:07,023 And I must say, it's been very enjoyable. 436 00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,944 Of course, it does have its drawbacks. 437 00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:13,903 When you're celibate, there's no one to clink your glass with. 438 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,356 Are you some sort of a monk? 439 00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:18,526 No. 440 00:19:18,615 --> 00:19:22,075 No, I just got tired of all those quickie relationships. 441 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:26,040 You mean, you gave up sex completely. 442 00:19:26,123 --> 00:19:27,173 Completely. 443 00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,499 It's like giving up smoking. 444 00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:32,464 You cut down to one cigarette a day, you're still a smoker. 445 00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:33,756 I'm impressed. 446 00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,759 Well, I just felt it was time to try something new. 447 00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,222 But I'm sure you've heard of the movement. 448 00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:41,432 It's been on all the talk shows, and magazines, and books. 449 00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:42,603 It's called the new celibacy. 450 00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:46,771 Some people refer to it as the joy of not having joy. 451 00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,522 You know, I can see how a person 452 00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:52,194 could get to a place like that in this sex-oriented world. 453 00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:56,784 I myself, if you have noticed, am terribly turned off to men. 454 00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,492 Oh, really? 455 00:19:58,572 --> 00:20:00,162 It's all that grabbing and pulling. 456 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,620 It's disgusting. 457 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:02,620 My sentiments exactly. 458 00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:05,161 Do you know, I've come home with scratches 459 00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:06,455 that didn't heal for weeks? 460 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:14,458 I've always felt that intimacy was supposed to be beautiful. 461 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:17,466 Instead, it's just become trivial. 462 00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:20,719 Well, here's to a new kind of intimacy 463 00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:21,392 without the tyranny of sex. 464 00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:36,074 I'm glad you could get away, Shirley. 465 00:20:36,151 --> 00:20:39,401 Oh, So am I. But one dance is hardly getting away. 466 00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:40,948 Oh, those girls run a tight ship. 467 00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:43,331 I'm thinking of starting a mutiny. 468 00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,004 Listen, I have to get back. 469 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,670 Oh, well, how about the promenade deck in an hour? 470 00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:51,669 I'll be there. 471 00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:52,670 All right. 472 00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:08,678 Vicki, as captain of this ship, 473 00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:09,387 don't you think I should be notified 474 00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:12,346 when we run into a hurricane? 475 00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:14,267 Well, if things had been organized to begin with, 476 00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:15,976 then things around here wouldn't look 477 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:17,686 so disorganized while they're being reorganized. 478 00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:20,146 Naturally. 479 00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:22,737 Vicki, I think you've done enough work for one day. 480 00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,033 Why don't you get to bed? 481 00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:25,526 Oh, well I've got to finish just typing first. 482 00:21:25,617 --> 00:21:29,707 Excuse me. 483 00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:30,828 Miss stubing? 484 00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:31,794 Hmm? 485 00:21:31,873 --> 00:21:32,793 You are my secretary, right? 486 00:21:32,874 --> 00:21:33,714 Right. 487 00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:34,042 I'm your boss, right? 488 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:35,916 Right. 489 00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:41,093 Speaking to you as your boss, I'm ordering you to go to bed. 490 00:21:41,174 --> 00:21:44,094 Very well. 491 00:21:44,177 --> 00:21:45,097 Vicki? 492 00:21:45,178 --> 00:21:47,058 Hmm? 493 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:48,889 You're off duty now. 494 00:21:48,974 --> 00:21:51,604 You think you can give your father a kiss? 495 00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:52,935 Oh. 496 00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:55,560 Goodnight, daddy. 497 00:21:55,647 --> 00:21:56,937 Goodnight, sweetheart. 498 00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:03,490 I can't get over it. 499 00:22:03,572 --> 00:22:04,242 For a solid year, you haven't had 500 00:22:04,322 --> 00:22:07,082 a single intimate relationship? 501 00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,409 That's right. 502 00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:10,373 I suppose before that, you weren't so-- 503 00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:11,584 are you kidding? 504 00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:14,963 I was so wild, I could get turned on by a navel orange. 505 00:22:15,042 --> 00:22:17,132 That was I call discipline. 506 00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:17,920 Oh, I'd love to hear more. 507 00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:19,963 You want to come in for awhile? 508 00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:22,257 You mean, in your cabin? 509 00:22:22,340 --> 00:22:23,130 Just the two of us? 510 00:22:23,216 --> 00:22:23,756 Mm-hmm. 511 00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:25,392 You think it's safe? 512 00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:27,639 Who would I be safer with? 513 00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:28,391 A lot of men. 514 00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:29,262 Is this safe for you? 515 00:22:29,347 --> 00:22:30,807 I mean, you think it's safe for me? 516 00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:33,311 Believe me, there will be no scratches. 517 00:22:33,393 --> 00:22:35,603 Not even a hickey. 518 00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:37,147 I don't know. 519 00:22:37,230 --> 00:22:37,940 Come on. 520 00:22:48,742 --> 00:22:51,502 I was beginning to think I'd never see you alone. 521 00:22:51,578 --> 00:22:53,208 It wasn't easy. 522 00:22:53,288 --> 00:22:55,958 I'd never had to develop a headache on such short notice. 523 00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:58,091 I'm surprised that didn't make you continue playing 524 00:22:58,168 --> 00:23:00,248 while they massaged your head. 525 00:23:00,337 --> 00:23:05,297 Oh, Shirley, i'm-- i'm so glad you're here. 526 00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:15,024 So am I. 527 00:23:15,102 --> 00:23:16,312 Headache better? 528 00:23:16,394 --> 00:23:17,734 Couldn't be better. 529 00:23:17,813 --> 00:23:19,233 This is the best headache I ever had. 530 00:23:25,070 --> 00:23:27,360 I knew it. 531 00:23:27,447 --> 00:23:28,117 I knew there was something up when I saw 532 00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:30,488 her putting some lipstick on. 533 00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:31,655 [Inaudible] 534 00:23:31,743 --> 00:23:33,623 Nobody puts on lipstick when she's planning 535 00:23:33,703 --> 00:23:35,373 to have a headache, alone. 536 00:23:35,455 --> 00:23:39,785 [Inaudible] 537 00:23:39,876 --> 00:23:42,166 Come ashore with me tomorrow. 538 00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:44,514 Let me show you puerto vallarta. 539 00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:46,719 I know the most wonderful little cafe that serves 540 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,430 the best margaritas in Mexico. 541 00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:50,220 Oh. 542 00:23:50,303 --> 00:23:52,683 Oh, that sounds terrific. 543 00:23:52,764 --> 00:23:54,814 Yeah, but the girls are counting on me. 544 00:23:54,891 --> 00:23:56,351 Frank: Well, tell them you still have a headache. 545 00:23:56,434 --> 00:23:57,234 Shirley: Mm-mm. - It'll only take a few hours. 546 00:23:57,310 --> 00:23:58,900 - No, I can't. - Please? 547 00:23:58,979 --> 00:23:59,649 Can't. 548 00:23:59,729 --> 00:23:59,979 Please? 549 00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:02,693 Can't. 550 00:24:02,774 --> 00:24:04,404 Ok. 551 00:24:04,484 --> 00:24:05,404 Ok. 552 00:24:05,485 --> 00:24:06,985 I'll meet you in the purse's lobby at 11:00. 553 00:24:07,070 --> 00:24:07,900 Marvelous. 554 00:24:07,988 --> 00:24:10,698 Oh. 555 00:24:10,782 --> 00:24:12,532 But you know something, getting a date 556 00:24:12,617 --> 00:24:15,287 with you is tougher than pulling teeth. 557 00:24:23,753 --> 00:24:25,423 What does she thinks she's doing? 558 00:24:25,505 --> 00:24:28,875 She knows we can't play bridge without a fourth. 559 00:24:28,967 --> 00:24:32,547 Giving up a bridge game for a date, hmm. 560 00:24:32,637 --> 00:24:35,017 That girl just doesn't know how to have a good time. 561 00:24:35,098 --> 00:24:36,018 [Inaudible] 562 00:24:36,099 --> 00:24:40,309 We came here to play bridge and we will. 563 00:24:40,395 --> 00:24:42,185 Tomorrow, that dentist is going to have 564 00:24:42,272 --> 00:24:44,112 his appointment canceled. 565 00:24:48,111 --> 00:24:49,451 Barry: When I finally understood that sex didn't have 566 00:24:49,529 --> 00:24:52,619 to be the end result of every relationship, 567 00:24:52,699 --> 00:24:54,869 my women friends and I began to enjoy 568 00:24:54,951 --> 00:24:56,241 each other in a whole new way. 569 00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:57,788 Of course. 570 00:24:57,871 --> 00:25:00,711 Well, uh-- that way, you could channel all that animal 571 00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:03,250 energy into higher things-- 572 00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:04,915 music, literature, art. 573 00:25:05,003 --> 00:25:07,343 Exactly. 574 00:25:07,422 --> 00:25:09,092 Ever since I've become celibate, I've 575 00:25:09,174 --> 00:25:11,344 reached greater spiritual heights, greater awareness. 576 00:25:11,426 --> 00:25:13,676 Well, I remember one wonderful weekend 577 00:25:13,762 --> 00:25:18,182 when my date and I checked into a romantic little hideaway 578 00:25:18,266 --> 00:25:23,606 and locked the door, and together we knitted an Afghan. 579 00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:25,898 That's what I'm looking for. 580 00:25:25,982 --> 00:25:26,022 What size do you wear? 581 00:25:30,862 --> 00:25:34,162 Oh, you know, I wonder if it's possible for two people 582 00:25:34,241 --> 00:25:38,251 to spend a whole weekend together and not want to-- 583 00:25:38,328 --> 00:25:39,658 you know? 584 00:25:39,746 --> 00:25:40,956 Well, at first I felt the same as you do. 585 00:25:41,039 --> 00:25:44,289 And that's why I had to spend the night alone with a woman, 586 00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:47,336 just to test myself, you understand? 587 00:25:47,420 --> 00:25:49,760 I understand. 588 00:25:49,839 --> 00:25:51,129 I'd like to take that kind of test. 589 00:25:51,216 --> 00:25:53,886 Someday, you should. 590 00:25:53,969 --> 00:25:55,759 It's the only way to prove to yourself 591 00:25:55,845 --> 00:25:56,965 that you've got the willpower. 592 00:25:57,055 --> 00:25:58,175 No, I don't mean someday-- 593 00:25:58,265 --> 00:26:00,095 now, with you. 594 00:26:00,183 --> 00:26:01,563 With me? 595 00:26:01,643 --> 00:26:03,563 Where else am I going to find someone that I know hasn't 596 00:26:03,645 --> 00:26:05,435 a sexual thought about me? 597 00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:06,772 Besides, I'd really like to find out 598 00:26:06,856 --> 00:26:11,486 if I have the inner strength to reach that kind of purity. 599 00:26:11,569 --> 00:26:12,569 Oh, I'm sure you do. 600 00:26:12,654 --> 00:26:14,324 How am I going to know unless I take the test? 601 00:26:17,033 --> 00:26:20,083 Please? 602 00:26:20,161 --> 00:26:22,331 Well, ok. 603 00:26:22,414 --> 00:26:23,424 I'll stay. 604 00:26:23,498 --> 00:26:25,668 But I'm doing this against my better judgment. 605 00:26:25,750 --> 00:26:26,790 Thank you. 606 00:26:26,876 --> 00:26:27,916 I really appreciate it. 607 00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:28,753 My pleasure. 608 00:26:53,778 --> 00:26:54,698 I knew it. I knew it. 609 00:26:54,779 --> 00:26:55,199 - What? - I knew it. 610 00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:56,990 What happened? 611 00:26:57,073 --> 00:26:58,373 Well, I knew you couldn't hold out? 612 00:26:58,450 --> 00:26:59,200 What did I do? 613 00:26:59,284 --> 00:27:01,704 There I was, fast asleep. 614 00:27:01,786 --> 00:27:03,156 I was perfectly-- I was dreaming I was making fudge brownies 615 00:27:03,246 --> 00:27:05,036 and you kissed me. 616 00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:05,923 I'm sorry. 617 00:27:05,999 --> 00:27:07,749 I'm sorry. 618 00:27:07,834 --> 00:27:08,594 Wait a second. 619 00:27:08,668 --> 00:27:09,668 Wait a second. 620 00:27:09,753 --> 00:27:11,843 You don't have to leave. 621 00:27:11,921 --> 00:27:15,471 Won't happen again, I promise. 622 00:27:15,550 --> 00:27:16,340 Ok. 623 00:27:16,426 --> 00:27:17,676 But this is your last chance. 624 00:27:32,817 --> 00:27:37,157 [Music playing] 625 00:27:46,122 --> 00:27:56,512 [Inaudible] 626 00:27:56,591 --> 00:27:58,391 Good morning, Dr. Leonhardt. 627 00:27:58,468 --> 00:28:00,098 Oh, good morning, ladies. 628 00:28:00,178 --> 00:28:01,048 Would you like to join me? 629 00:28:01,137 --> 00:28:04,597 [Interposing voices] 630 00:28:04,682 --> 00:28:06,562 Well, I'm glad to see you take time out from bridge 631 00:28:06,643 --> 00:28:09,153 for a little nourishment. 632 00:28:09,229 --> 00:28:11,309 Well, we can't play yet anyhow. 633 00:28:11,398 --> 00:28:13,728 We're waiting for Shirley. 634 00:28:13,817 --> 00:28:14,817 Don't tell me she overslept? 635 00:28:14,901 --> 00:28:17,031 Oh, no, no, no, she's on the phone. 636 00:28:17,112 --> 00:28:18,952 Ship De jour. 637 00:28:19,030 --> 00:28:23,660 Husbands can be such a pain in the neck, can't they? 638 00:28:23,743 --> 00:28:26,543 Why Ethel, I think it's wonderful. 639 00:28:26,621 --> 00:28:29,291 If my husband were still living, I'd love 640 00:28:29,374 --> 00:28:30,834 him to call me twice a day. 641 00:28:30,917 --> 00:28:31,627 But ladies-- 642 00:28:31,709 --> 00:28:33,289 Doris, how much can he miss her? 643 00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:35,548 This is a short cruise. 644 00:28:35,630 --> 00:28:36,300 Wait a minute. 645 00:28:36,381 --> 00:28:36,881 Wait a minute. 646 00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:37,625 I don't understand. 647 00:28:37,715 --> 00:28:39,125 I thought Shirley was a widow? 648 00:28:39,217 --> 00:28:40,087 Oh, a widow. 649 00:28:40,176 --> 00:28:42,966 [Laughing] 650 00:28:43,054 --> 00:28:45,014 Oh, no. 651 00:28:45,098 --> 00:28:46,348 Yeah, that's a new one. 652 00:28:46,433 --> 00:28:49,313 She usually calls herself a divorcee. 653 00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:50,654 Sounds younger. 654 00:28:50,728 --> 00:28:53,518 Oh, but don't worry, doctor leonhardt, 655 00:28:53,606 --> 00:28:56,606 if Shirley would like to have a little shipboard fling, 656 00:28:56,693 --> 00:28:59,323 I mean, who are we to mix in? 657 00:28:59,404 --> 00:29:02,034 Our lips are sealed. 658 00:29:08,955 --> 00:29:09,825 Look at this. 659 00:29:09,914 --> 00:29:12,214 All crew members, until further notice, 660 00:29:12,292 --> 00:29:15,672 there will be a daily inspection, every day, daily. 661 00:29:15,753 --> 00:29:19,013 Remember, it's a pleasure to view a neat-looking crew, 662 00:29:19,090 --> 00:29:21,130 signed captain m. Stubing. 663 00:29:21,217 --> 00:29:23,337 Daily inspection-- that's crazy. 664 00:29:23,428 --> 00:29:26,138 Do I look any different today than I did yesterday? 665 00:29:26,222 --> 00:29:26,852 Unfortunately, no. 666 00:29:31,686 --> 00:29:32,346 Hey. 667 00:29:32,437 --> 00:29:33,147 What's going on? 668 00:29:33,229 --> 00:29:35,519 Take a look. 669 00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:38,357 All crew members from your captain. 670 00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:40,493 Please submit a written report each morning of what 671 00:29:40,570 --> 00:29:42,280 your day's activities will be. 672 00:29:42,363 --> 00:29:47,583 Remember, a day that's planned well, will turn out just swell. 673 00:29:47,660 --> 00:29:51,160 What's the captain writing here, memos or fortune cookies? 674 00:29:51,247 --> 00:29:51,997 Good morning, everyone. 675 00:29:52,081 --> 00:29:52,831 Good morning, sir. 676 00:29:52,916 --> 00:29:53,666 [Interposing voices] 677 00:29:53,750 --> 00:29:57,090 Well, uh-- what's so interesting? 678 00:29:57,170 --> 00:30:00,050 Vicki. 679 00:30:00,131 --> 00:30:00,471 Good morning, everyone. 680 00:30:00,548 --> 00:30:01,798 Morning. 681 00:30:01,883 --> 00:30:07,183 [Interposing voices] 682 00:30:07,263 --> 00:30:10,063 Isaac: No loitering around the bulletin board. 683 00:30:10,141 --> 00:30:15,521 Uh-- merrill, I know it isn't easy to fire your own daughter. 684 00:30:15,605 --> 00:30:16,895 Oh, don't worry. 685 00:30:16,981 --> 00:30:18,821 I'm sure she'll get tired of it all before long. 686 00:30:18,900 --> 00:30:21,440 Well maybe there's a way we can make her tired. 687 00:30:29,994 --> 00:30:33,754 I can't remember when I had a more restful night. 688 00:30:33,831 --> 00:30:36,921 Why, i-- I didn't even realize you were next to me. 689 00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:40,051 Except for that little mistake I made. 690 00:30:40,129 --> 00:30:41,089 I'm sorry. 691 00:30:41,172 --> 00:30:43,722 I still can't believe I tried to kiss you. 692 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:45,010 Well, don't dwell on it. 693 00:30:45,093 --> 00:30:46,643 You did very well for a first time. 694 00:30:46,719 --> 00:30:47,929 You just don't have my depth of control yet. 695 00:30:48,012 --> 00:30:51,642 You know, I haven't come across a man like you 696 00:30:51,724 --> 00:30:52,894 in a long time. 697 00:30:52,976 --> 00:30:56,266 And to think, I didn't even want to come on this cruise. 698 00:30:56,354 --> 00:30:58,864 I was afraid of being stuck with some shipboard lothario. 699 00:30:58,940 --> 00:31:02,900 My friends had to practically push me on board. 700 00:31:02,986 --> 00:31:06,946 You are so refreshingly different. 701 00:31:07,031 --> 00:31:09,451 Thanks. 702 00:31:09,534 --> 00:31:10,954 Well, have a nice day. 703 00:31:18,918 --> 00:31:19,538 Julie (on megaphone): Ladies and gentlemen, 704 00:31:19,627 --> 00:31:21,547 welcome to puerto vallarta. 705 00:31:21,629 --> 00:31:24,259 Land tours will be leaving in one half hour. 706 00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:31,603 Shirley: Gopher? 707 00:31:31,681 --> 00:31:36,101 Uh-- excuse me, gopher, have you seen doctor leonhardt? 708 00:31:36,185 --> 00:31:38,055 The doctor, the dentist, that doctor leonhardt? 709 00:31:38,146 --> 00:31:38,976 Yes. 710 00:31:39,063 --> 00:31:39,983 He was the first one off the ship. 711 00:31:40,064 --> 00:31:41,444 I guess he wanted to make a full day of it. 712 00:31:41,524 --> 00:31:42,324 Aha. 713 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:45,320 Uh-- did he leave a message for me? 714 00:31:45,403 --> 00:31:46,363 No message. 715 00:31:46,446 --> 00:31:47,606 Was he supposed to meet you here? 716 00:31:47,697 --> 00:31:48,987 No-- yeah, well, uh-- 717 00:31:49,073 --> 00:31:51,833 i-- I just thought maybe i'd catch him before he left. 718 00:31:51,909 --> 00:31:54,039 Well, if I run into him, I'll tell him 719 00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:55,330 you were looking for him. 720 00:31:55,413 --> 00:31:57,373 No-- uh-- well, uh-- 721 00:31:57,457 --> 00:31:58,167 thank you. 722 00:32:02,545 --> 00:32:05,295 [Interposing voices] 723 00:32:05,381 --> 00:32:06,721 Jeez. 724 00:32:06,799 --> 00:32:08,679 You're both talking, and I can't follow either of you. 725 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:09,340 One at a time. 726 00:32:09,427 --> 00:32:11,177 All right. 727 00:32:11,262 --> 00:32:12,262 The first thing I need is for you 728 00:32:12,347 --> 00:32:14,557 to pull all your files on every passenger who's 729 00:32:14,641 --> 00:32:16,481 ever taken a cruise with us. 730 00:32:16,559 --> 00:32:18,849 Make sure all their names are alphabetized, because what 731 00:32:18,936 --> 00:32:21,516 we're going to do-- 732 00:32:21,606 --> 00:32:25,686 or what you're going to do is compile a list 733 00:32:25,777 --> 00:32:28,317 and we're going to send Christmas cards to everybody 734 00:32:28,404 --> 00:32:29,534 who has ever sailed with us. 735 00:32:29,614 --> 00:32:30,784 Isn't that a great idea? 736 00:32:30,865 --> 00:32:32,235 Well, I guess so, but Julie-- 737 00:32:32,325 --> 00:32:34,695 oh, and make sure that you make a special notation 738 00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:36,946 on all the cards of the passengers that have taken 739 00:32:37,038 --> 00:32:38,208 more than one trip with us. 740 00:32:38,289 --> 00:32:40,829 Now, listen Vicki, after you get that project underway, 741 00:32:40,917 --> 00:32:43,587 what I need you to do is very important 742 00:32:43,670 --> 00:32:46,630 because I want you to make a list of all the passengers 743 00:32:46,714 --> 00:32:48,054 that are on the ship and find out 744 00:32:48,132 --> 00:32:48,682 what their favorite drink is. 745 00:32:48,758 --> 00:32:49,548 Then give me the list. 746 00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:51,894 I'll keep it behind the bar. 747 00:32:51,969 --> 00:32:53,929 When they come in, I will have their drinks ready for them 748 00:32:54,013 --> 00:32:55,393 before their shorts hit the store. 749 00:32:55,473 --> 00:32:56,683 [Interposing voices] 750 00:32:56,766 --> 00:32:59,226 Vicki, did you get a count of the cotton balls and tongue 751 00:32:59,310 --> 00:33:00,770 depressors like I asked you? 752 00:33:00,853 --> 00:33:02,313 Well, I'm working on it, doc. 753 00:33:02,397 --> 00:33:04,397 Vicki, did you type that letter to my mom yet? 754 00:33:04,482 --> 00:33:05,782 No, but I will. 755 00:33:05,858 --> 00:33:07,688 Oh boy, what a great idea the captain had making 756 00:33:07,777 --> 00:33:08,567 Vicki our secretary, huh? 757 00:33:08,653 --> 00:33:10,033 Oh, marvelous idea. 758 00:33:10,113 --> 00:33:12,033 Well, my dad said he was going to keep me busy. 759 00:33:12,115 --> 00:33:15,025 I didn't think he meant for the rest of my life. 760 00:33:15,118 --> 00:33:18,288 Vicki, are you sure you can handle all this? 761 00:33:18,371 --> 00:33:19,411 No problem. 762 00:33:19,497 --> 00:33:20,747 Good, because after lunch, we have 763 00:33:20,832 --> 00:33:23,042 a lot more stuff for you to do, like paperclips, pencils-- 764 00:33:23,126 --> 00:33:24,496 I need pencils, number two pencils-- 765 00:33:24,585 --> 00:33:34,345 [interposing voices] 766 00:33:34,429 --> 00:33:39,099 [Music playing] 767 00:33:48,985 --> 00:33:49,685 Hi, Linda. 768 00:33:49,777 --> 00:33:52,157 No puerto vallarta for you? 769 00:33:52,238 --> 00:33:53,108 Mm-mm. 770 00:33:53,197 --> 00:33:53,777 No? 771 00:33:53,865 --> 00:33:54,615 You're missing a fun trip. 772 00:33:54,699 --> 00:33:56,079 I'm missing a fun trip right here. 773 00:33:56,159 --> 00:33:56,949 Mm. 774 00:33:57,034 --> 00:33:58,954 Sounds like a problem of the heart. 775 00:33:59,036 --> 00:33:59,696 Barry? 776 00:33:59,787 --> 00:34:00,747 Mm. 777 00:34:00,830 --> 00:34:02,290 You know, I thought it was so nice to finally 778 00:34:02,373 --> 00:34:03,623 meet a man that didn't come on to me 779 00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:06,288 the first minute he met me. 780 00:34:06,377 --> 00:34:07,457 That would be nice. 781 00:34:07,545 --> 00:34:08,955 Yeah, except for one thing, I think 782 00:34:09,047 --> 00:34:11,127 I could really fall for this guy, and would you believe it? 783 00:34:11,215 --> 00:34:12,795 He's kicked the habit. 784 00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:14,554 You wouldn't mean he's stopped smoking? 785 00:34:14,635 --> 00:34:15,795 Are you kidding? 786 00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:17,557 That's the only thing you will do in bed. 787 00:34:17,638 --> 00:34:19,678 I don't know. 788 00:34:19,766 --> 00:34:21,726 I guess somewhere along the line some bad lady must 789 00:34:21,809 --> 00:34:23,309 have really turned him off. 790 00:34:23,394 --> 00:34:25,944 Well, that doesn't mean that some good lady can't come along 791 00:34:26,022 --> 00:34:28,272 and turn him right back on. 792 00:34:28,357 --> 00:34:28,857 Yeah. 793 00:34:28,941 --> 00:34:30,861 Look at it this way. 794 00:34:30,943 --> 00:34:33,533 You're Florence nightingale and you're giving aid and comfort 795 00:34:33,613 --> 00:34:37,163 to some poor sick soldier. 796 00:34:37,241 --> 00:34:38,491 Yeah. 797 00:34:38,576 --> 00:34:40,326 Maybe I better go practice rolling my bandages. 798 00:34:40,411 --> 00:34:44,711 [Laughing] 799 00:34:48,753 --> 00:34:51,263 Doris: Get me bridge and a two pound box of chocolates 800 00:34:51,339 --> 00:34:53,339 and I'm in heaven. 801 00:34:53,424 --> 00:34:54,684 You're going to get there fast, 802 00:34:54,759 --> 00:34:59,849 Doris, if you don't stop getting chocolate all over these cards. 803 00:34:59,931 --> 00:35:00,931 Well, ok. 804 00:35:03,935 --> 00:35:04,595 Shirley? 805 00:35:04,685 --> 00:35:05,435 Hmm? 806 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:06,730 Oh, I'm sorry. 807 00:35:06,813 --> 00:35:09,653 Why didn't you play my ace? 808 00:35:09,732 --> 00:35:11,532 I'm sorry, I didn't see it. 809 00:35:11,609 --> 00:35:13,609 Thanks for the gift. 810 00:35:13,694 --> 00:35:16,074 Shirley, wake up. 811 00:35:16,155 --> 00:35:17,405 Don't you have any clubs? 812 00:35:17,490 --> 00:35:20,080 Sorry. 813 00:35:20,159 --> 00:35:22,079 Oh, we all make mistakes. 814 00:35:22,161 --> 00:35:24,871 I just don't seem to be able to concentrate. 815 00:35:24,956 --> 00:35:28,706 Well here, have a chocolate. 816 00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:30,463 That always helps me concentrate. 817 00:35:30,545 --> 00:35:31,915 You should be in a trance by now. 818 00:35:35,007 --> 00:35:39,347 Oh, Shirley, what is the matter with you? 819 00:35:39,428 --> 00:35:40,388 I'm ruining all your fun. 820 00:35:40,471 --> 00:35:41,351 I-- 821 00:35:41,430 --> 00:35:43,600 of course not. 822 00:35:43,683 --> 00:35:45,063 We're having a great time. 823 00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:47,733 I'm spoiling it for you and I just can't seem to help myself. 824 00:35:47,812 --> 00:35:49,862 I-- really, i-- 825 00:35:49,939 --> 00:35:52,109 i-- I really am sorry. 826 00:35:52,191 --> 00:35:52,901 I-- 827 00:36:00,157 --> 00:36:01,237 Listen, I think we were wrong. 828 00:36:01,325 --> 00:36:05,035 I didn't realize she cared that much for him. 829 00:36:05,121 --> 00:36:07,501 I think I hate myself. 830 00:36:07,582 --> 00:36:08,752 Me too. 831 00:36:08,833 --> 00:36:12,133 Oh, Doris, how can you eat at a time like this? 832 00:36:17,174 --> 00:36:17,934 She can. 833 00:36:20,761 --> 00:36:21,931 Julie (on megaphone): We hope you enjoyed 834 00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:23,763 your stay in puerto vallarta. 835 00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:25,678 Our next stop is the port of Los Angeles. 836 00:36:28,728 --> 00:36:30,098 Captain: See you later, Vicki, oh-- 837 00:36:30,187 --> 00:36:32,477 miss stubing. 838 00:36:32,565 --> 00:36:34,525 Uh-- merrill, how's the plan coming? 839 00:36:34,609 --> 00:36:35,939 Has Vicki quit her job yet? 840 00:36:36,027 --> 00:36:36,987 Not yet. 841 00:36:37,069 --> 00:36:37,949 Incredible. 842 00:36:38,029 --> 00:36:38,909 After all the work we've piled up on her, 843 00:36:38,988 --> 00:36:41,118 she hasn't even complained? 844 00:36:41,199 --> 00:36:42,779 Not a word. 845 00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:45,117 Well, you should be very proud of her, merrill. 846 00:36:45,202 --> 00:36:45,792 Oh, I am, Adam. 847 00:36:45,870 --> 00:36:47,460 I'm always proud of her. 848 00:36:47,538 --> 00:36:52,458 But tell me this, what do we do if Vicki doesn't quit? 849 00:36:52,543 --> 00:36:53,963 Don't worry. 850 00:36:54,045 --> 00:36:54,745 We'll jump ship. 851 00:37:00,384 --> 00:37:04,684 [Music playing] 852 00:37:51,102 --> 00:37:51,852 I didn't even think I'd see you again, 853 00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:54,726 much less be dancing with you. 854 00:37:54,814 --> 00:37:55,774 Why? 855 00:37:55,856 --> 00:37:57,316 Well, when you left so abruptly this morning, 856 00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:02,280 I got the distinct feeling I was making you uneasy. 857 00:38:02,363 --> 00:38:07,083 That maybe I was threatening your vow of celibacy. 858 00:38:07,159 --> 00:38:07,949 No. 859 00:38:08,035 --> 00:38:08,575 I don't think anyone could do that. 860 00:38:08,661 --> 00:38:10,411 No offense. 861 00:38:10,496 --> 00:38:12,666 It's just that i'm a different guy 862 00:38:12,748 --> 00:38:13,668 from the Barry of last year. 863 00:38:16,502 --> 00:38:28,222 I'll bet at this time last year, that was you, 864 00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:38,266 all over some poor girl, cheek to cheek, nose to nose, 865 00:38:38,357 --> 00:38:40,227 lips to lips. 866 00:38:40,317 --> 00:38:41,357 Yeah, that was me. 867 00:38:41,444 --> 00:38:42,324 I didn't miss a spot. 868 00:38:45,156 --> 00:38:49,406 I suppose you were also a nibbler. 869 00:38:49,493 --> 00:38:52,793 Like a rabbit in a field of corn. 870 00:38:52,872 --> 00:38:58,172 Now ears to me are just hearing devices. 871 00:38:58,252 --> 00:39:02,802 Doesn't all this body contact bring back any fond memories? 872 00:39:02,882 --> 00:39:06,722 Well, actually it does. 873 00:39:06,802 --> 00:39:08,512 It reminds me of the last super bowl 874 00:39:08,596 --> 00:39:11,056 when the linebackers racked up the quarterback. 875 00:39:28,741 --> 00:39:31,911 Frank, uh-- we got something to tell you. 876 00:39:31,994 --> 00:39:33,084 Another surprise? 877 00:39:33,162 --> 00:39:35,292 If it's anything like the last one, 878 00:39:35,373 --> 00:39:36,293 I better make this a double. 879 00:39:36,373 --> 00:39:41,053 Frank, listen, Shirley's husband's dead. 880 00:39:41,128 --> 00:39:43,128 Dead? 881 00:39:43,214 --> 00:39:43,804 Well, when did it happen? 882 00:39:43,881 --> 00:39:46,381 About a year ago. 883 00:39:46,467 --> 00:39:49,467 A year? 884 00:39:49,553 --> 00:39:51,603 Why did you tell me he was still alive? 885 00:39:51,680 --> 00:39:54,640 We made it up. 886 00:39:54,725 --> 00:39:57,475 Ethel: It was the only way to save our bridge game. 887 00:39:57,561 --> 00:39:59,731 Oh, frank, can you ever forgive us? 888 00:39:59,814 --> 00:40:01,404 Doris: If you don't, we won't tell you where Shirley is. 889 00:40:09,031 --> 00:40:09,661 Forgiven. 890 00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:10,740 Oh, good. 891 00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:22,460 I don't why I let you talk me into coming here for more wine? 892 00:40:22,545 --> 00:40:23,835 As a matter of fact, I think you've had quite a few too many 893 00:40:23,921 --> 00:40:25,711 already. 894 00:40:25,798 --> 00:40:26,838 Oh, don't be such a stick in the mud. 895 00:40:26,924 --> 00:40:29,224 This is special. 896 00:40:29,301 --> 00:40:31,801 This is our last night. 897 00:40:31,887 --> 00:40:32,637 Come on. 898 00:40:32,721 --> 00:40:34,271 Relax. 899 00:40:34,348 --> 00:40:38,018 Let's loosen this tie here, huh? 900 00:40:38,102 --> 00:40:39,902 And let's get rid of this jacket. 901 00:40:39,979 --> 00:40:40,689 Mm. 902 00:40:43,440 --> 00:40:49,860 [Inaudible] That's a little bit better, hmm? 903 00:40:49,947 --> 00:40:51,527 A toast. 904 00:40:51,615 --> 00:40:53,025 To celibacy. 905 00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:53,867 To ecstasy. 906 00:41:01,250 --> 00:41:03,460 Now, Linda, don't do anything rash. 907 00:41:03,544 --> 00:41:04,554 Remember my vow. 908 00:41:04,628 --> 00:41:06,258 Oh, I know all about your vow. 909 00:41:06,338 --> 00:41:07,588 I thought you and I were more interested 910 00:41:07,673 --> 00:41:08,843 in the spiritual side? 911 00:41:08,924 --> 00:41:11,304 I love your spiritual side. 912 00:41:11,385 --> 00:41:11,885 I can't believe that after a year of purity, 913 00:41:11,969 --> 00:41:13,889 I'm backsliding. 914 00:41:13,971 --> 00:41:15,561 Where did I go wrong? 915 00:41:15,639 --> 00:41:15,969 Don't fight it. 916 00:41:16,056 --> 00:41:17,976 Oh, well. 917 00:41:18,058 --> 00:41:19,478 I just hope you'll respect me in the morning. 918 00:41:27,943 --> 00:41:29,903 Shirley? 919 00:41:29,987 --> 00:41:31,907 Frank. 920 00:41:31,989 --> 00:41:33,069 I'd like to explain about this morning. 921 00:41:33,157 --> 00:41:36,077 There's nothing to explain. 922 00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,410 You just decided to go ashore without me, that's all. 923 00:41:38,495 --> 00:41:39,865 That's not all. 924 00:41:39,955 --> 00:41:41,285 I left without you because I thought 925 00:41:41,373 --> 00:41:43,923 you were one of those part-time wives who 926 00:41:44,001 --> 00:41:46,801 was looking for a meaningless shipboard fling. 927 00:41:46,879 --> 00:41:48,259 Well, that wasn't for me. 928 00:41:48,339 --> 00:41:50,469 Shirley: Well, I told you I was a widow. 929 00:41:50,549 --> 00:41:51,719 Where did you ever get the idea that I was married? 930 00:41:56,597 --> 00:41:58,517 No, they didn't. 931 00:41:58,599 --> 00:41:58,969 They couldn't have. 932 00:41:59,058 --> 00:42:00,268 I mean, really. 933 00:42:00,351 --> 00:42:03,441 Don't be angry with them Shirley. 934 00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:05,940 Bridge is all they have. 935 00:42:06,023 --> 00:42:07,823 Think of what we could have. 936 00:42:07,900 --> 00:42:08,610 Hey. 937 00:42:13,614 --> 00:42:17,914 You know, we're the first bridge foursome I've 938 00:42:17,993 --> 00:42:19,373 ever seen with three dummies. 939 00:42:48,774 --> 00:42:51,034 Is that you, dad? 940 00:42:51,110 --> 00:42:52,570 It's the captain. 941 00:42:52,653 --> 00:42:55,783 Oh-- oh, I must have fallen asleep. 942 00:42:55,864 --> 00:42:56,914 I'm sorry. 943 00:42:56,991 --> 00:42:59,331 Miss stubing, I don't consider sleeping on the job 944 00:42:59,410 --> 00:43:01,410 the same as doing the job. 945 00:43:01,495 --> 00:43:04,155 But it was only for a minute, dad. 946 00:43:04,248 --> 00:43:05,538 It's captain. 947 00:43:05,624 --> 00:43:07,084 And if I dozed off for only a minute, 948 00:43:07,167 --> 00:43:09,167 where do you think this ship might wind up? 949 00:43:09,253 --> 00:43:11,763 I'm sorry. 950 00:43:11,839 --> 00:43:17,339 Vicki, this isn't easy for me, but as the captain, 951 00:43:17,428 --> 00:43:19,178 I've learned the true meaning of duty, 952 00:43:19,263 --> 00:43:22,563 responsibility, leadership. 953 00:43:22,641 --> 00:43:27,691 I'm afraid I'm going to have to relieve you of your duties. 954 00:43:27,771 --> 00:43:29,691 You are? 955 00:43:29,773 --> 00:43:31,693 I mean, you are. 956 00:43:31,775 --> 00:43:35,195 We all appreciate your dedication to your job. 957 00:43:35,279 --> 00:43:38,819 Now, it's a company policy that you receive some sort 958 00:43:38,907 --> 00:43:42,157 of severance pay, so I've decided that yours will 959 00:43:42,244 --> 00:43:45,874 be the largest banana royal chocolate 960 00:43:45,956 --> 00:43:48,206 chip rainbow sherbet ice cream sundae 961 00:43:48,292 --> 00:43:50,252 ever made aboard this ship. 962 00:43:50,336 --> 00:43:52,296 That was for the sundae. 963 00:43:52,379 --> 00:43:54,049 What was that for? 964 00:43:54,131 --> 00:43:55,341 For firing me. 965 00:43:58,177 --> 00:44:01,927 [Music playing] 966 00:44:04,099 --> 00:44:08,229 Oh, Barry, I feel so guilty about pulling that dirty trick 967 00:44:08,312 --> 00:44:09,522 on you last night, but believe me, 968 00:44:09,605 --> 00:44:15,145 I only did it to show you that I love you. 969 00:44:15,235 --> 00:44:17,735 I'm sorry. 970 00:44:17,821 --> 00:44:19,111 You're sorry. 971 00:44:19,198 --> 00:44:22,408 When it comes to dirty tricks, you're strictly little league. 972 00:44:22,493 --> 00:44:23,453 Meaning? 973 00:44:23,535 --> 00:44:26,495 Well, right now i'm torn between two feelings. 974 00:44:26,580 --> 00:44:29,460 One is wonderful and the other is rotten. 975 00:44:29,541 --> 00:44:32,251 Wonderful, because I just had the experience of a lifetime 976 00:44:32,336 --> 00:44:36,586 with a super lady and rotten because this whole celibacy 977 00:44:36,673 --> 00:44:39,763 thing was just a scheme. 978 00:44:39,843 --> 00:44:40,803 A scheme? 979 00:44:40,886 --> 00:44:45,096 I'm about as celibate as a mink. 980 00:44:45,182 --> 00:44:48,142 Get out. 981 00:44:48,227 --> 00:44:51,227 Ok. 982 00:44:51,313 --> 00:44:53,323 But there's one little extra piece of information 983 00:44:53,399 --> 00:44:55,029 you ought to know. 984 00:44:55,109 --> 00:44:56,239 I love you too. 985 00:44:56,318 --> 00:45:00,448 I really love you. 986 00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:01,781 What is, uh-- 987 00:45:01,865 --> 00:45:03,445 that part of the routine? 988 00:45:03,534 --> 00:45:05,454 Does that go along with the rest of the scam, 989 00:45:05,536 --> 00:45:08,246 you tell them you love them, they'll forgive you anything. 990 00:45:08,330 --> 00:45:09,620 I don't blame you for not believing me, 991 00:45:09,706 --> 00:45:12,416 but for what it's worth, it's the truth. 992 00:45:16,255 --> 00:45:19,215 After all, why would I have confessed? 993 00:45:25,931 --> 00:45:26,641 Barry? 994 00:45:30,561 --> 00:45:32,311 You do? 995 00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:33,516 You really do love me? 996 00:45:44,908 --> 00:45:46,198 [Laughing] 997 00:45:46,285 --> 00:45:47,655 What's so funny? 998 00:45:47,744 --> 00:45:48,834 I was just thinking, I hope all of our sons 999 00:45:48,912 --> 00:45:50,752 grow up to be celibate, just like their old man. 1000 00:46:03,552 --> 00:46:07,812 [Music playing] 1001 00:46:12,853 --> 00:46:14,023 Well, it looks like Dr. Leonhardt 1002 00:46:14,104 --> 00:46:16,024 took you out of the bridge club, Mr. Simpson. 1003 00:46:16,106 --> 00:46:17,606 Well, not exactly. 1004 00:46:17,691 --> 00:46:19,741 We're switching to honeymoon bridge. 1005 00:46:19,818 --> 00:46:21,148 Awe, congratulations. 1006 00:46:21,236 --> 00:46:22,356 Thank you. 1007 00:46:22,446 --> 00:46:23,486 - Thanks for sailing with us. - Bye bye. 1008 00:46:23,572 --> 00:46:24,032 Hope you like 1009 00:46:24,114 --> 00:46:25,124 [interposing voices] 1010 00:46:25,199 --> 00:46:25,869 Oh, Shirley-- 1011 00:46:25,949 --> 00:46:28,369 Shirley, can you ever forgive us? 1012 00:46:28,452 --> 00:46:29,872 Oh, [inaudible] 1013 00:46:29,953 --> 00:46:30,873 Oh, I feel terrible. 1014 00:46:30,954 --> 00:46:32,044 Oh, honey, no. 1015 00:46:32,122 --> 00:46:35,712 Shirley, Doris hasn't had any chocolate in 12 hours. 1016 00:46:35,792 --> 00:46:37,252 Oh, we're sorry, honest. 1017 00:46:37,336 --> 00:46:38,586 No, it's ok. Why? 1018 00:46:38,670 --> 00:46:39,630 It was wonderful. 1019 00:46:39,713 --> 00:46:40,843 Really? 1020 00:46:40,923 --> 00:46:43,553 Let's just say that, uh-- it's water under the bridge. 1021 00:46:43,634 --> 00:46:45,974 [Interposing voices] 1022 00:46:46,053 --> 00:46:47,973 All right, after that, we leave. 1023 00:46:48,055 --> 00:46:49,255 [Interposing voices] 1024 00:46:49,348 --> 00:46:50,218 Congratulations. 1025 00:46:50,307 --> 00:46:51,387 We'll miss you. 1026 00:46:51,475 --> 00:46:52,555 Bye. 1027 00:46:52,643 --> 00:46:53,393 Here, let me give you hand with this. 1028 00:46:53,477 --> 00:46:53,977 Oh, no, no. 1029 00:46:54,061 --> 00:46:55,561 Don't bother, Isaac. 1030 00:46:55,646 --> 00:46:58,226 Doris likes to carry her own candy. 1031 00:46:58,315 --> 00:46:58,605 Goodbye. 1032 00:46:58,690 --> 00:47:01,490 Bye bye. 1033 00:47:01,568 --> 00:47:02,738 Thanks for sailing with us. 1034 00:47:02,819 --> 00:47:03,569 Bye bye. 1035 00:47:08,075 --> 00:47:09,155 Uh-- nice cruise, Linda? 1036 00:47:09,243 --> 00:47:10,873 Yes. 1037 00:47:10,953 --> 00:47:10,993 Thank you, Dr. Bricker. 1038 00:47:14,581 --> 00:47:15,751 I told you. 1039 00:47:15,832 --> 00:47:17,712 She came on by herself and that's the way she's leaving. 1040 00:47:17,793 --> 00:47:18,713 $50 bucks, please? 1041 00:47:23,006 --> 00:47:23,256 Well, so long, doc. 1042 00:47:23,340 --> 00:47:25,130 Barry. 1043 00:47:25,217 --> 00:47:26,427 If you ever want to talk to the iceberg, 1044 00:47:26,510 --> 00:47:28,140 she'll be thawing out around my fireplace. 1045 00:47:39,731 --> 00:47:41,651 Doc, let me tell you a little something about women. 1046 00:47:41,733 --> 00:47:44,493 Gopher, at a time like this, silence is not only golden, 1047 00:47:44,570 --> 00:47:45,650 but it could save your life. 1048 00:47:49,616 --> 00:47:52,996 Well, Vicki, how does it feel to be a lady of leisure again? 1049 00:47:53,078 --> 00:47:54,158 Well, I love it, but, you know, 1050 00:47:54,246 --> 00:47:56,076 I can't spend the rest of my life doing nothing. 1051 00:47:56,164 --> 00:47:58,044 Oh, I wouldn't mind a couple of weeks of that. 1052 00:47:58,125 --> 00:48:01,625 Did I hear spend the rest of my life doing nothing? 1053 00:48:01,712 --> 00:48:03,052 Gopher, tell her how it's done. 1054 00:48:03,130 --> 00:48:03,760 Careful, doc. 1055 00:48:03,839 --> 00:48:04,629 I'll tel them about Linda. 1056 00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:06,215 Oh, you wouldn't, would you? 1057 00:48:06,300 --> 00:48:09,340 Oh, Julie, I want you to remind you to talk to the chef 1058 00:48:09,428 --> 00:48:10,798 before our next trip. 1059 00:48:10,887 --> 00:48:12,677 I think the desserts should be a little fancier. 1060 00:48:12,764 --> 00:48:13,974 Yes, sir. 1061 00:48:14,057 --> 00:48:15,727 Well, dad, you know that I can bake cakes and other things-- 1062 00:48:27,738 --> 00:48:31,028 [Theme music]